accident · falling

I Got Mad Skills, Ya’ll


I’m very skillful. I’m the only person I know who, when standing still,  can fall over, just have an ankle bend and SMACK!! I’m on the floor. It happened twice in the last four days. Ended up with a swollen ankle and a big bruise on my bum where I landed.
What’s really strange is that I’ve never once fallen when doing things that are actualy dangerous. In these same four days I’ve climbed on three different step ladders, a couple of counters, one tall dresser, and stood on the bed to hang posters, without injuring myself once (unless you count dropping a string of fairy lights on my head). Maybe I should spend more of my life on ladders. Because I can injure myself doing normal things, ya know. Yesterday I was unplugging my space heater from the extension cord, when it gave off a bunch of sparks, and scorched my hand. The area around my right ring finger & pinkie were black, and had a tiny blister; the black stuff washed off, and the blister is gone today, but man did that hurt! (I got rid of the extension cord–it was old, and apparently dangerous!).
Yes, I’m incredibly talented.

accident · pain · seizures

Call Me Clumsy

I am a clumsy girl. Always have been. I manage to hurt myself doing things most people do without any problems, like sitting, standing, and even eating. I run into furniture, walls get in my way, I trip over my own feet, and I am the only person I’ve ever met who can be standing perfectly still, and fall over. An ankle will just twist, and suddenly I’m sprawled on the ground, in pain and looking stupid. I’ve managed to bruise every single part of my body at some point, and this does not count the injuries I’ve sustained during seizures.

As I write this, I have bruises on my right arm, hip and leg, as well as my chin. Friday night, in the act of standing up–something most people do without injury– I skidded across the wooden floor of my bedroom when that ankle twisted, landing on a stack of cardboard boxes in the corner. With my face. It was a bit softer than where the rest of me landed,  the floor and wall. I swore like a sailor, and spent the rest of the evening with am ice pack on my face. By Saturday morning, my face was fine, but my leg hurt so badly I spent the day with it iced. My right wrist is still killing me; that’s the wrist I’ve broken twice, and it hurts all the time!

My dream is to go an entire week without a new bruise or injury. To not look as if I’ve been the victim of a bad beating, or car accident. Until then, I will keep buying arnica, and  make sure I always have ice packs and ace bandages around!