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The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly Shoes

Saw the doctors this morning, receiving both good and bad news.

The good news: I have been given a much smaller brace/splint for my hand, making many activities much easier. I can hold a spoon and use the computer mouse. I may even be able to write! Next week I go back for more x-rays, to be sure there isn’t a small break that couldn’t be seen, but for now, I’m happy.

The bad news: I am going to need surgery on my ankle, which has, among other things, a chronic torn ligament, and some severe tendon damage. Before that I’ll be fitted for a custom set of orthotics – my insurance will not cover. “We give a reduced rate to Medicare clients, so it’ll only be $350” said the doc. ONLY $350. Add to that, with these orthotics I can only wear lace-up shoes. He says “Lifestyle changes.”

I am not a big fan of lace-up shoes. Give me a nice slip-on shoe, a zip-up boot, a pull-on ankle boot, or even a buckled sandle, but don’t make me have to tie my shoes every single time I put them on. Yes, I’m lazy. But I am also tired of being in pain, so I’ll adjust. There are a lot of comfortable and fashionable choices these days in laced shoes, I’m sure…so they tell me. I know that if I can get my hands on (my feet on?) a pair of Doc Martens, I’ll wear those and be happy. At least when the weather gets a bit cooler. In the heat, well, do Keds count? As long as I don’t have to wear Forrest Gump’s shoes, I’ll be happy.

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Brace Yourself.

Ugh.

Sunday night Brandon and I went out for a while. I dressed up, even wearing my one and only pair of heels for most of the night. We both looked pretty snazzy, if I do say so, myself. I managed to get through the night out in my heels without falling even once, which is a big deal for me. I fell later, wearing flats.

I fell on the way home, when we stopped at the gas station to pick up the ice cream I wanted (and the nicotine B was craving). Tripped on the curb, and SPLAT! I was sprawled on the sidewalk. Scraped both knees. Twisted my right wrist and hand. And smacked my head on the concrete , too. This “curbed” my apetite for ice cream – at least temporarily! By the time we got home my hand was swollen and I realized I could barely move my pinkie and ring fingers.

I spent the rest of the night with ice packs on both my face (in hopes I wouldn’t develop a huge black eye) and my hand. When the pain had not decreased by the next morning, we headed over to Urgent Care. I was pretty sure that at least part of my hand was broken – my pinkie was splayed way out from the rest of my hand, and to move either finger just made me want to cry!

After a little poking and prodding, a set of x-rays, and a series of questions (“No, I didn’t have a seizure.” “No, I hadn’t been drinking.” “No, nobody is hurting me.” ), it was determined that nothing was broken. My hand is severly sprained. They gave me a bulky brace “for comfort and healing” which I have to wear for three weeks. By the way, it is in NO WAY comfortable!

I can’t hold a pen, or a spoon. I cannot type (thank you, voice-to-text) or use the mouse correctly. Ugh.

stuff

Confusion and Magnetic Imaging

Today I visited The Oregon Clinic in Portland. I’ve been having a lot of pain in my left foot & ankle, especially after standing or walking for very long; I saw a podiatrist, who sent me for an MRI.

First, I must say that the actual process, the MRI itself, and the technicians who administered it, was fabulous, without any problems. Being strapped to a table is not my favorite thing in the world, especially when surrounded by a large, very noisy medical machine, but the lovely technicians tuned the big ol’ headphones into the 80’s station on Pandora, and I grooved to the tunes of my youth, and was able to relax. So much that I think I even fell asleep while they scanned my foot & ankle!

However, for several reasons I’m annoyed by the administrative folks at The Oregon Clinic. I was told my MRI appointment was for 1 o’clock, and that I needed to check in 30 minutes early. So, I arrived at noon, only to be told “You are really early! Your appoinment is at one; we told you to be here at 12:30 so you’d get that 30 minutes for check in.” Then I was handed a stack of papers which I was told were just vaivers – they turned out to be exact replicas of the online check-in I spent 30 minutes doing yesterday. (The whole point of those is so you do not have to do paperwork at the office, right?) Third, after handing back my insurance cards, the receptionist casually stated to me “They told you we don’t take your Washington insurance, right? Because we’re The Oregon Clinic, right, in Portland.” Which I was not told. Now I just have to keep my fingers crossed that Medicare will pay for the entire thing. Ugh.

I don’t know the results yet. I’m hoping it can easily be fixed, without surgery or having to wear ugly “good-for-Jonna” shoes all the time. As a wise man once said, it is better to look good than to feel good.

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Dismantled

This morning, I watched a couple of episodes of a Roku original series called ‘Dishmantled,’ because it stars Tituss Burgess. He was the highlight of ‘Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt,’ with his outrageous style and bizarre songs, so I thought I’d give this show a gander. ‘Dishmantled’ is a very odd game show that places two cooks, dressed in hazmat suits, in a clear tube, then shoots an unknown dish at them from a cannon. They then taste, feel and smell (their eyes are covered) what has been splattered across them like paint on a Jackson Pollock canvas, and try to figure out, then cook it. Whoever gets closest to the actual dish wins $5000.

I couldn’t decide if it was cool or disgusting.

Apparently the universe thought it was nifty enough to recreate on a smaller scale in my own kitchen just a few hours later, when I didn’t get the lid to my Blender Bottle shut all the way, and ended up with strawberry smoothie splattered all over my face. And shirt. And in my hair. And on the floor. And wall. Bright red splashes everywhere- it looked like a crime scene! It was gross. My shirt was soaked- I had to take it off in the kitchen so I could clean up. And there I was, topless, with a mop in my hand, when the maintenance man knocked on the front door.

I grabbed my robe & answered the door. He’d been doing repairs in the apartment next door, and heard me holler, he said. Wanted to make sure everything was okay. The bright red splotches across my face & up into my hair alarmed him….until I told him the whole story. And then he laughed so hard he cried.

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Seven Lists For the Seventh

Today is the 7th of June. Not that this date has any big significance for me, at least none that I remember right now–if I’m forgetting something important, let me know, and forgive me, because if you are my friend, you know how badly my brain holds information. And that brain drain is getting worse, since my seizures aren’t as well controlled as they should be lately. Not making my life a lot of fun, ya know? Anyway, that was totally not my point.  My point has to do with a thing someone sent me on Twitter, and asked me to write a blog post about. Now, I don’t remember who sent it, because I’ve had this image saved on my tablet for almost a year! (Bad Jonna!) Today I stumbled across it, and decided since it asks for 7 of each thing, and it’s the 7th, I’d do it. So here I go, trying to answer these questions, and make as much sense as possible!

7 everyday things I couldn’t live without:  

1-lip balm of some sort   2-something to write with and in  3-a comfy armchair  4–reading material

5 -caffeine  6-I’d be very unhappy without the internet (but could likely live without it as long as I had #’s 2 & 4)   7-sleep

7 of my favorite songs:

(in no particular order, just a few I’ve been listening to a lot lately)

1-‘Ca Plane Pour Moi’ by Plastic Bertrand (a song I picked up from Craig Ferguson!)

2-‘Come Together’ as recorded by Robin Williams & Bobby McFerrin

this just makes me feel totally free….

3-‘How’s the World Treating You’ by Alison Kraus & James Taylor (two of my favorite artists, singing a country classic–their voices together are just too beautiful!)

4-‘Sacred Emotion’ by Donny Osmond (I don’t care what you say, the man can sing, and I LOVE this song.)

5-‘Travelin’ Soldier’ by The Dixie Chicks (breaks my heart every time…and this fan made video is awesome.)

6-‘I’m Beautiful’ by Bette Midler (because I’m Beautiful, dammit!)

7-‘Beautiful World’ by Colin Hay

 

7 pastimes I never tire of doing:

  1. Reading
  2. Looking at stupid things on Pinterest, Tumblr & YouTube
  3. Learning
  4. Laughing
  5. Talking to friends & family
  6. wandering around stores
  7. This.

7 treats I could eat every day:

  1. Popcorn
  2. smoothies
  3. fruit of almost any kind
  4. sweet potato fries
  5. chai tea latte (iced)
  6. snickerdoodles
  7. beef fajitas

 

7 places I want to visit:

  1. New York City
  2. London
  3. Paris
  4. Mexico
  5. Japan
  6. Hawaii
  7. The Smithsonian Museum & Library of Congress in Washington DC (my big dream vacay!)

 

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Planet of the Ants

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I hate having bugs in my house. Except spiders. Spiders, I don’t mind. Without spiders, we’d be over-run by other creepy crawly things, and I cannot have that. Back in Colorado, my bedroom was in the basement, and every spring & summer, I’d get crickets in my room. I’d spend hours trying to track them down with my spray can of Raid, until I’d finally have silence, and could sleep. I’m sure I ingested enough bug killer between the ages of 11 and 17 to explain nearly all of my health problems these days! If those dumb crickets had stayed quiet, they’d have been safe; I don’t go after bugs I can’t see or hear! After all those years of Raid, I started trying to use greener methods of insect control, and some of them even worked! The vinegar trap for fruit flies was a great success– an inch or two of apple cider vinegar in the bottom of a jar, then cover the top with plastic wrap and poke a few holes, They are attracted to the sweet smell, but drown in the vinegar! And the beer trap worked great for catching slugs. The problem has been ants.

We had ants in our old house, and could never get rid of them, and we have them here. Just little black sugar ants, nothing dangerous, but highly annoying, and fucking EVERYWHERE! Not just the kitchen, and dining areas. I found them in my bathroom, and they’ve been swarming in my bedroom this week. The first time they showed up, I tried a few green solutions I found online. I sprayed a solution of white vinegar around. Didn’t do anything but make my room smell like a pickle. I sprinkled coffee grounds around where they come in ( apparently ants don’t like coffee?); not a thing happened, but at least that smelled better. The coffee grounds did keep the ants and other bugs off the plants in the garden when we tried it there, it just didn’t work in the house. In one area I lay down a line of black and red pepper, because it was supposed to stop those ants in their tracks! Nope. I just ended up with a dusty floor. The only thing I haven’t tried that all the green sites recommend is borax, and peppermint. I didn’t have either of those on hand. Today I swept and cleaned, dusted and then sprayed all the nooks and crannies of my room with good old Raid Ant Spray. For a couple of hours, my room smelled like a chemical bomb, and my head hurt like a bitch. But for now anyway, all the ants are gone. I plan on buying some peppermint essential oil and using it -or maybe the peppermint castile soap–maybe both–to spray around the room and bathroom. I don’t want to use borax, because we do have pets, and that stuff will get on their feet and hurt them! One site I saw said that windex is a great ant killer, so maybe I’ll try that. I can clean my windows at the same time!