kitty · MissGoogle · pain · yoga

Random Middle of the Night Post

I woke up Thursday morning and, for the first time in weeks, I wasn’t in pain. Well, the small aches and pains that are always here were still there, but the massive pain that has had my neck and shoulders in it’s grip was gone. I honestly did not know what to do! Most people – normal people – would have used their day to actually do something, but that’s not how I roll. I spent my pain-free day curled up in my chair, reading. Same as always.  At least now I know that the pain can be alleviated; the day before, my sister Jolene had massaged my shoulders for a bit, nearly bringing me to tears, and then she sent me to bed with the heating pad. It worked (thanks, Butch!), and I can only wonder what a session from an actual  masseuse would do for me! Checking out deals on Groupon ASAP…

Things are stalled a bit, partially because of money, partially because I’ve been feeling so lousy, and partially because I just put stuff off. Big surprise. It amazes me that I once had a busy life, a full -time job, a home of my own, even a social life, and managed it all! Right now I am just proud that I’ve been able to keep my room clean for two weeks in a row; managing more than that is scary. However, I am working on doing more, both here, in the house (which is actually harder than going outside) and out. Still haven’t started my yoga class, but that is next, as is following through on my promise to Jolene to help with dinner twice a week. I can do this, right?

What I cannot do is get Miss Google to be nice to the new kitten. They antagonize each other, and every time Honey comes too close, Miss G goes on full alert, hissing and growling. She’s even swatted Honey a time or two, but the kitten doesn’t care. She’s either a masochist, or she really really wants to be friends, because she keeps coming into Miss G’s territory, getting in her face. At this rate, I may have to call in the cat whisperer.



breast cancer · change · finances · home · Jolene · kitty · Michele · moving · Portland · transition


I know, you missed me. Now you can rejoice, because I won’t go away again–I promise! Lots has changed since I last posted, including location, obviously.

The last few months have been a time of many changes in my life, and the changes just keep on coming. (I feel like a David Bowie song…) A psychologist I spoke  with ( I’m seeing a psychologist. Big surprise there.) said that I’m in a “time of transition.”

Transition. Oh, yeah. BIG TIME.

In March, about two weeks before my 44th birthday, I left the relationship I’d been in since 2009, and moved from Vancouver back to Portland. It was a very difficult thing to do, but one that had been a long time coming. Making that decision set me free, in many ways; don’t misunderstand me, I wasn’t being help prisoner or anything, but emotionally, I felt trapped. And financially, there was no way out. So I’m back in my parents house, where my money is mine, and I have my freedom while I’m waiting for my disability appeal hearing. That part of my life is up in the air: I don’t know how long it’ll be until the hearing, or what they’ll decide. So my life is definitely in transition.

The largest change was also the worst, and has knocked me off my feet, broken my heart. On April 12, my best friend, Michele Miller Mahmood, died. The breast cancer she’d been fighting took her, and the world lost one of the best people ever created.  I’ll write more about this later, because Shel deserves an entire post, and entire blog, all her own.

I’m struggling to find my way in this new world, to transition into a life where I am on my own. I’ve always treasured my family, but suddenly, they seem so much more precious. My sister, Jolene, is going through her own transitions, yet has given her time to help me when ever I need her. She’s wonderful, and I am so thankful for her.

People keep asking what I’m going to do now. That’s the million dollar question, folks! Let’s figure it out together, shall we?

kitty · MissGoogle · teenage behavior

My Teenage Cat.

I am the parent of a teenager.

My teen doesn’t drag me to soccer games or need rides to the mall. She’s not your typical teen. And yet…she is! Yes, my kitten is growing up. Miss Google is a teen.
These last few weeks I’ve been noticing my baby girl acting more & more like an adolescent. Her risk-taking behavior scares me, and she ignores my calls of “Get down! Don’t do that! Stop!” as she walks along the thin iron railing of our second-story deck, or climbs to the top of the bookshelves. When she falls, who will she cling to?
She eats things that she shouldn’t. As she chases bugs across the apartment she knocks over half the things in her way, never stopping until she catches & eating each one. It’s gross, but it makes her so happy…
And the plants, oh, the plants. Yes, she’s eaten all the herbs in the pots on the deck. The mint, lemon balm, lavender. She chews on the geranium, the roses, the jasmine.
Like many teens, Miss Google (I’m ashamed to admit) has experimented with drugs. My kitty has a catnip problem. We bought a catnip plant at the nursery, so I guess that makes us her dealers. She’d chew on a few leaves, and be stoned the entire day.
But I realized she was truly an adolescent the other day when she walked right by me as I called her name. Steven & I both called her, and she simply ignored us, strolling past with her tail in the air. Totally a teenage behavior! If she’d had a cell phone, she’d have been texting her friends “My parentals are so lame! OMG!”
I’m just glad she isn’t watching Twilight or listening to Justin Bieber.