Food & eating is a strange thing for me. While I don’t actually eat large amounts of anything, I do have a tendency to snack on things like potato chips. Easy enough to fix–if I don’t have it in the house, I can’t & won’t eat it. Same with my major weakness– Pepsi. I’m a junkie: I can’t have just one, and if it’s in the house, I’ll guzzle it until it’s gone. But if I’m not around it, I’m okay. So I don’t buy it.
I’m the wrong person to take to those “all-you-can-eat” type restaurants, because, I am not a big eater, and I never eat enough to justify the price. Everyone else is going back for thirds & fourths, and I’m sitting there, waiting to leave, drinking my sixth glass of Pepsi.
At regular places, I’m fine, because while I’m somewhat picky, I also like to try new things. And because my eyes are bigger than my stomach, I always have a doggie bag to take home!
My boyfriend, Steven, asks me at least once a day “Did you eat anything today?” because he knows I get involved in what I’m doing, and forget, until suddenly it’s five-thirty in the afternoon, and all I’ve had all day was that cup of coffee at nine. No wonder my head aches!
You’d think that someone who seldom eats, or eats very little would be a tiny little thing, wouldn’t you? Well, you’d be wrong. I’ve been struggling with my weight since I was nine-years-old! When I had my tonsils out at age 13, I lost about 20 pounds, because I refused to eat for 2 weeks (I was scared it would hurt to swallow.), but that didn’t last. Again, at age 35, I lost quite a bit of weight as a side-effect of an anti-seizure medication I was taking. The pounds just fell off, and I felt great–while it lasted, which was for about 19 months. And then it all came back, with friends, after changing meds. Of course, now I know that my body chemistry, my thyroid & pancreas, and a whole bunch of other things are all messed up, and have been since I was about nine, which is part of the reason I’m fat. But a bigger part, I know, is that I don’t eat well, and I seldom, if never exercise.
Yes, I admit it. While my internal chemistry may have triggered the weight gain, I’m responsible for it staying. (Never thought I’d actually say that out loud. And I didn’t– I typed it. You can’t prove this is even me…)
Yeah, yeah, I know, you’ve heard all this before. Fat girl gonna change, Yadda yadda yadda.. Since last September, when I first posted, I’ve actually lost weight, in spite of myself. In spite of doing very few of this things I said I would do, for various reasons. Seems as if whenever I make & declare plans, the Universe says “Oh, no, you don’t!” and throws up a roadblock. Well, look out, Universe, I just got a GPS that’ll get my by whatever you got! In September, I was weighing in at about 206 pounds, on a good day. (Another thing I never thought I’d tell the entire world.) Today, the scale says 188. I’m pretty damn happy, considering that I’ve not been able to get to the treadmill since before Christmas!
Still on a body that’s only 5’2″, with small bones, 188 is a lot of weight. So I am determined to make sure those numbers continue to go down! The picture above was taken in August 2010, and is my official “Before” shot. Look for pictures of the incredible shrinking Jonna coming soon!