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In Case of Fire

People always ask what you’d save if your house were on fire, as if you wouldn’t choose to save like, YOUR FREAKING HOUSE! I mean, I realize the point of this question is to figure out what’s really important in your life, and crap like that, but honestly, having a place to live is right up there at the top of my list. I know I can’t carry my bed, and even though it has wheels, it won’t fit out the door. Not a chance I’m gonna be able to lift the sofa I’ve sat on my entire life, or that coffee table that has bruised my shins since I learned to walk. The china cabinet that belonged to my grandmother, or the few pieces of furniture that my grandfather made. Actually, I might be able to lift one of those, but my television is sitting on it, and I can’t budge that. We have family photos up and down the hall, and stacks of photo albums in a bookshelf in the office. Most of my photos are packed away now, with my books, and other things, in the garage, in boxes. They’d go up like fireworks if the place caught fire, I’m sure.

I’m not sure what made me think about this, but there I was, in the middle of the night, wondering what I’d grab if the house went up in flames. Assuming my family, and Miss Google, and Daisy the dog got out okay, and I don’t have to worry about saving lives. Because, really, does anyone want me to be responsible for saving their life? Me, who can barely get out of my pajamas most day? Me, who has a hard time finding matching shoes, or remembering if I’ve eaten today. Would you want me to be responsible for your life? Sure you would. Because in times of crisis, I rock. Normal days, I am worthless. Send me a hurricane, and I’d be the person gathering up puppies and getting them to high ground. Well, maybe not puppies. I’m not a dog person. Okay, yeah, I’d take the puppies, but only after I made sure all the kids, and kitties were okay, and saved the library first. I have my priorities in order.

in-case-of-fireWhat I decided in the dark of night was that if my house was struck by a meteor, or god forbid, the garbage disposal should burn up and explode like Max is scared it will do if we run it for more than a minute, I’d grab the following things:

My laptop, because, well, I’d need to tell you guys about this, and I like my laptop. My tablet/eReader, because it has all my pictures and my books on it, and I’ll need something to read. And the pretty purse that has all of my meds, because well, without those I’d be a big ol’ mess. And nobody want that. Most of that stuff would fit in my other purse, and I always know where that is, even when I can’t find my shoes.